A fantastic example of crap marketing

A blogger and entrepreneur I follow called Jeff Chavez of NorthStar Think Tank referenced a truck he’d seen recently:

I was driving next to a truck that was transporting some portable bathrooms. The company was called “Port-O-John.” On the door of the truck were these words, “The Number One Company in a Number Two Business!”

Now, if you needed portable toilets, I think this would stick in your mind!  It fulfils the criteria of:

  • Describing what the business does
  • Being memorable
  • Being relevant to the product or service
  • Providing a reason to call

That last point is slightly debatable since they haven’t ‘proved’ if or why they’re number one, but all-in-all, it’s a hell of a lot better than the kind of thing most businesses choose to put on their vans e.g.:

AJ Smith Sanitary Solutions
Tel: 01234 567890
Email: ajsss@yahoo.co.uk

If you have a van, take a look at it now.  Then ask yourself if it meets the criteria above.

If you’ve seen particularly good or particularly bad examples of van sign-writing, please leave me a comment below - I’m looking for examples for a special report I’m creating.

Thanks!

Posted under Marketing

This post was written by gordon_mullan on November 12, 2008

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Are you kissing your ass goodbye?

As I wrote in a post about The Old Man, The Boy and The Donkey, trying to be all things to all people is basically slow death to almost any business, but especially small business.

I came across a post today (again from John Jantsch) that addresses this subject, with a simple question and a challenge - Are You Waffling?

To quote some of his post: “In an attempt to broaden their market appeal [many businesses] craft target market descriptions that leave room for just about anyone who pledges to pay the bill, eventually. Or, equally offending, it takes 10-15 minutes to explain how they are different, you know, in a way that won’t turn any potential customers off.

Here’s the secret to success in good times and bad - stop waffling. Take a stand and make a marketing strategy commitment you can stick with.

Define your target market as narrowly as is humanly possible. Start by looking long and hard and what your profitable customers, the ones that already refer business to you, look like, think like, live like, value and fear. Now, eliminate all the jerks, cause you don’t have to work with them. Shake and not stir . . .”

He goes on to issue a challenge, but it’s the same challenge I ask every business I work with to take up…

Clearly define (demographically, geographically and/or psychographically) who are the kinds of customers you love to work with, find a way to exclude or at the very least dissuade the ’clients from hell’ (and we’ve all had ‘em!) that you don’t want to work with, and then target everything you do to your ideal customer.

There’s a principle called the Rule of Thirds when it comes to marketing, and it’s a rule you want to be comfortable with.  Basically, if you’re being really clear about who you’re marketing to, and what it is about you and the way you do business that’s unique or memorable, you hit the mark when:

  • 1/3rd of people love you for it
  • 1/3rd of people hate you for it
  • 1/3rd of people couldn’t give a monkeys either way

True talkability comes from having both passionate enthusiasts, and equally passionate detractors.  People love to argue, and if they’re arguing about loving or hating you, they’re talking about you - “Love me or hate me, but don’t ignore me!”

Now, let’s be clear here - if people hate you because your product or service is rubbish or sub-standard in some way, or you act like a complete a***-hole, then that’s definitely not a good thing.

However, taking me as an example, if people don’t like me because I’m a Northerner; I speak my mind; I call a spade a spade; and, although I can be very diplomatic, I tend not to pull my punches when discussing my opinion on marketing - then that’s just fine with me.

I don’t want to have to mind my P’s and Q’s when I’m trying to help you.  If you want marketing advice from someone who’ll pussyfoot about, and wrap you up in faint praise and flattery, you really need to be talking to someone else.  The door’s over there….ta. :-D

On the other hand, if you want straightforward, to the point, “that bit’s great, that bit’s OK, that bit sucks - and here’s several concrete ideas you can use to fix it”, then I’m your man.

I get very excitable sometimes, I talk a lot with my hands, and I do swear (mildly) sometimes - but if that’s how you want your marketing advice delivered, you’re in the right place my friend.

So - back to you.  Are you trying to be all things to all people, and getting dismissed as just another ‘whatever’?  If you are, then you’re kissing your ass goodbye

If you want help defining your ideal customer, and some support and ‘borrowed courage’ in standing out from the crowd, call me or drop me a line - I’d love to hear from you.

Posted under Marketing

This post was written by gordon_mullan on November 7, 2008

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The definition of branding (for small businesses)

I came across a great blog post today from a well-known and very successful small business marketer called John Jantsch, creator and author of Duct Tape Marketing.

In it, John gives a great definition of both marketing, and branding, as applied to small businesses:

“Marketing is getting someone who has a need to know, like and trust you. Most small business folks, exposed only to more academic definitions, really seem to appreciate the truthfulness of that characterization.

This same reader (Eddy) also asked then for my definition of branding (as it might relate to marketing)

So, here you go. Branding is the art of becoming knowable, likable and trustable.”

As a small businesses, customers are never going to know, like and (start to) trust you from your marketing if you talk in the same, lobotomised, corporate tone of voice that most everybody else does.

Until you start giving people the human face and personality behind your business, you’re going to continue to get dismissed as ‘just another [whatever]‘.

What can you do, right now, to start communicating your uniqueness to your target audience, in terms they care about?

 (For the full post, go to The definition of branding)

Posted under Marketing

This post was written by gordon_mullan on November 5, 2008

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Small Business Marketing Tips #3: What Most Marketing & Vacuums Have In Common - They Both Suck!

Came across this great article today by Jimmy Vee, where he shows how you can have personality in your product, as well as your marketing.  Enjoy!

– Begin article –

Being a man and a gear head I love mechanical marvels and innovation. New tools, new kitchen gadgets, new electronics and new high tech appliances – with that in mind you shouldn’t be surprised when I tell you that I am in love with the new Dyson Vacuum.

I love it for what it is, what it looks like, what it promises and I love the marketing.

Let’s talk about the marketing. Let’s talk about it because the marketing is all the things I just mentioned.

This company is smart. They build marketing into the product at ground zero. They vacuum is scendsational to look at. It’s a cool and innovative thing of beauty and I’m sure to some it’s a hideous yellow beast, which from a marketing perspective is the right place to be.

They are following our rule of thirds principle here which is one I suggest you all strive to follow. Not being afraid to piss off, turn off and not be for at least a third of the population.

The Dyson also has a completely innovative design that moves completely based on a ball concept for revolutionary mobility – that’s worth looking at and talking about. They have built in buzz right in the product design.

See how that’s marketing at ground zero. You can do that too…

Next, I want to talk about the claims they make. Their irresistible offer is short and simple – “The first vacuum cleaner that doesn’t lose suction.” Let’s analyze this.

1. What are we selling?

A vacuum

2. What’s in it for me – the customer?

It doesn’t lose suction

3. How much does it cost?

Not mentioned (more on this later)

4. Why should I believe what you say?

The first vacuum to not lose suction.

A short and simple statement that answers 3 out of the four power questions of an irresistible offer. That is a Gravitational Proposition that pulls people to them like crazy. What is the most frustrating thing about a vacuum? Losing Suction!!!
So smart and it gets even better.

The company has made several models all that cater to very specific sub-niches.

1. Base model
2. Low Reach – for people who are frustrated with not being able to get under things
3. The Animal - The most powerful upright for pet hair – for pet owners.
4. Full Gear – for all the floor cleaning gadgets – for the people who always buy the top of the line.

This is a great marketing strategy.

The Website:

The front page of the web site uses an education based marketing approach that discusses the four things you need to know before you buy a vacuum.

The website is the best. They are a bit too caught up in fancy flash and they are losing some of the effectiveness as a result. They could make the site simpler and easy to navigate and ultimately make more sales.

The Advertising:

The advertising spokes person is the inventor of the vacuum and the owner of the UK based company, James Dyson. In 1970, Dyson graduated from Royal College of Art where he studied furniture design, then interior design.

In the advertising, Dyson is very persuasive and passionate about his product. He exudes believability and credibility by doing very little other than demonstrating the product and being confident in its ability.

Unwavering confidence is a key and often overlooked corner-stone of marketing. You must be confident in your personal ability and the ability of your product or service to deliver on its claims.

Many small business owners and independent sales professionals lack that level of confidence. It’s only when you have that level of confidence can you back up your products with solid, no-nonsense guarantees.

Price:

Wouldn’t you think that a vacuum is a commodity product? One vacuum sucks, they all suck – figuratively and literally. You’re looking for the cheapest thing to get the job done, right?

Wrong…With the identification of the pain of the target, an irresistible offer, an overwhelming benefit, education based marketing, social proof and a buzz-worthy, spread-able design this product rips itself from the commodity market and commands more money then all it’s competitors.

And the thing is selling like hotcakes.

Heck, I’m considering it even though is like $500.00. Plus I have pets, so I’m thinking I’m gonna pay even more for the pet vacuum because its niche marketed just for me.

Here’s them using a special offer and action incentive too…great stuff.

Jimmy Vee and Travis Miller are the authors of “The Ten Tall Tales Of Traditional Advertising That Cost You Tons” and their newest release, “The Small Business Owner’s Guide To The Galaxy: Jim & Travis’s Super-Stellar, Out Of This World, Step-By-Step Guide To Generating Leads, Attracting Customers and Making Sales.” Get FREE small business marketing tips, shortcuts and secrets - RIGHT NOW - at http://www.GravitationalMarketing.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jimmy_Vee
http://EzineArticles.com/?Small-Business-Marketing-Tips-3:-What-Most-Marketing-and-Vacuums-Have-In-Common—They-Both-Suck!&id=93052

Posted under Corporations with personality

The Old Man, The Boy and The Donkey - marketing advice from Aesops Fables

Sound marketing advice can be found in the strangest, and oldest of places - in this case, one of Aesop’s Fables.  In case you didn’t know Aesop was an Ancient Greek slave and story-teller - so we’re talking about marketing advice from about 600 BC!

I’m always trying to encourage you to put some personality into your marketing, and this story perfectly illustrates why:

“An old man and a young boy were traveling through their village with their donkey. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, “What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.” They then decided they both would walk.

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying, “How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.”

The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you may as well just kiss your ass goodbye.”

OK - honesty moment.  That’s not the original wording, but it made me smile more!

And the point made by the original wording of the moral is as true now as it’s always been: “PLEASE ALL, AND YOU WILL PLEASE NONE.

Are you trying to please everyone?  Or are you being uniquely you - and attracting the kinds of customers and clients that love you for that?

Posted under Marketing

This post was written by gordon_mullan on March 28, 2008

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100 Best-kept Marketing Secrets

Came across a great blog today: http://www.smallbiztrends.com/

They asked their readers/contributors for their top marketing secrets and compiled it into a free report, which I’d like to offer you today.

It’s completely free, and you don’t need to register to download it: 100 Best Kept Marketing Secrets

There’s a lot of common sense in there, as well as some suggestions that I’ll be taking up. 

Have a read - it’s worth your time.

Posted under Marketing

This post was written by gordon_mullan on March 28, 2008

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I like the sound of Dilberts Marketing Biathlon

A little light relief for a Friday:

Dogbert the marketing expert talks about the Marketing Biathlon

:-)  I love that!

Posted under Marketing

This post was written by gordon_mullan on March 14, 2008

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What wombats can teach you about copywriting

One guy I’ve been following for a long time, and whose style I really like, is Paul Myers.

He recently created a report which “…explains the unlikely connection between Grammar Cops, yuppie reporters, wombats and marketing. It also shows that you can find powerful marketing lessons almost everywhere. In the process, it’s good for a few good laughs and a moment or two of, ‘Hmmmmm….’”

To download it (no registration or anything necessary) just follow the link below:

The Wombat Report (Adobe PDF)

Posted under Copywriting

This post was written by gordon_mullan on February 29, 2008

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